Frustration is a Choice

How do you respond to frustration at work? This can involve not getting a promotion, seeing that budget item you need go unapproved, or feeling upset that others are receiving special treatment.

Whatever the cause, you feel frustrated. While you still perform your job, you’re heart isn’t into it. For many, they’re upset for a day or two and then things go back to normal.

For some, it’s too hard to let go of the frustration. It’s as if they draw a circle around themselves and tell the world that everything outside the circle no longer matters to them.

It’s no surprise that the person’s performance suffers and the business suffers as well.

How can we overcome this very human reaction, where frustration directly affects someone’s future?

I’m reminded of a very special dancer I knew while I served as the Executive Director of a professional ballet company. Let’s call her “Gracie.”

In a group of talented performers, Gracie stood out to me as the best. Her technique and artistic choices were flawless. She was a world class performer, having been invited to dance at festivals in other countries.

Throughout the year, the ballet company would put on various productions. As a newcomer, I was learning about the art form and was surprised to find out that Gracie wasn’t always cast as the principle role in these productions.

In my mind, the choice was obvious. Gracie was the best dancer, therefore she should get the lead part.

I asked some of the behind the scenes people about this and they told me the casting was up to the choreographer of the production. That person, the creator of the piece, might have a different vision for role. He or she might prefer someone who was taller or had a different look than Gracie. It’s a subjective choice.

Gracie would still have a role in the production but it would be a smaller part. When I would sit in the audience, I’d see her excel in it. This wasn’t a case of her stealing the spotlight from the other performers but rather using her talents to make the entire show shine brighter.

Later, I complimented Gracie on her ability make any part so memorable. I also asked if she ever got frustrated when she didn’t get the main part in a production.

Gracie told me that when she would audition for a role, she would give everything she had to it and that it was frustrating to not get the part.

Then she said something else, “Frustration is a choice.”

She went on to say that she couldn’t control the choreographer’s selection. Gracie said she could control how she would approach the part she received. Instead of feeling upset, she could focus her energy on making the character memorable.

Gracie also said that, as a dancer, her career would only last so many years, so why not make the most of every opportunity she had to dance.

This mindset served her and the company well. Her attitude also taught me an important lesson.

It can be easy to become lost in a sea of frustration but it’s important to remember Gracie’s attitude and her belief that frustration is a choice.