When was the last time you mentally finished someone’s sentence while he or she was still saying it? Did you guess correctly? When you do, you feel clairvoyant. But when you’re totally wrong, you’ll probably be a bit confused and lost in the conversation. And when this happens with a customer, you’re in danger of losing business.
It’s interesting that while listening is a very valuable skill in the workplace, most of us have never been taught how to listen. As a result, talking is perceived as more important than listening.
Mentally guessing someone’s thought can be fun but interrupting someone to finish their thought can lead to major communication problems, including the dreaded “foot in mouth disease.” Professionally, this can set your career back and even lead to some costly misunderstandings on the job. While you may be tempted to blurt out whatever comes into your mind, here are some quick tips that celebrate silence:
Let them finish!
Just about everyone thinks whatever they’re saying is incredibly important. It may not be but isn’t it a smarter move to give the talker a moment in the sun and make he or she feel special? You’ll score major points on the job and at home. Try it for a few days and I’ll bet people will start saying what a good listener you are.
Most people have a deep desire to know that they are being heard. Why go against that and risk their feeling frustrated with you?
Follow What They’re Saying!
Think about the last time someone was driving you somewhere and he or she took and unexpected turn or shortcut. How did it make you feel? Perhaps you were a little confused for a moment. The same applies to conversations. It’s very easy to think too much about the destination, rather than the journey. Make sure you know where the other person is going before you speak.
Some people do take a long time to get to the point. This can be frustrating but let the other person complete his or her thought. By being patient you are giving them the gift of your attention.
But What I Have to Say Is Brilliant!
It may be and it may be worth jumping into the conversation before the other person has finished speaking but do you want to risk having a conversation blowout? When communication breaks down between two people, one person usually thinks, “This person is an idiot,” or “They’re not listening to me which means they don’t care about me.” If you’re talking to someone who knows you, there’s a good chance they’ll cut you some slack. But others may not be so kind. Pay attention to their body language for clues about their feelings.
Some people have a harder time speaking up than others. By cutting them off on a regular basis, you could be training them to just stay silent and not contribute their wisdom to a conversation.
Biting Your Tongue Doesn’t Have to Hurt!
If you do blurt out something wrong before someone has finished a sentence, be humble. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m really excited about what you’re talking about but I’m not sure I understood it correctly. Would you mind repeating it?” This should make the other party feel special and allow the conversation to get back on track.
Miscommunications can cost us valuable time, friendships, and opportunities. Try to listen a little better and you’ll get better results and be perceived as a much smarter coworker.
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Copyright 2006 Ken Okel
Ken Okel helps people and organizations get around the obstacles that are blocking the path to success.
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