As a leader, you may feel that the only actions that have any influence are those that you write or say. But there’s a whole world of other communication taking place.
Being mindful of this can help prevent a lot of misunderstandings because people will assume things about you based on random factors. To explore this phenomenon a little more, let’s go behind the wheel of a car.
When you drive your car, you may think that you’re existing in a bubble but you’re having a huge impact on the other cars around you.
Imagine that you’re on the freeway and decide to pass the car in front of you. You’re doing this legally and are not exhibiting any signs of road rage.
As you start to pass the other car, suddenly that driver starts to speed up. This may be for several reasons:
- The driver may have zoned out and just realized that the speedometer had fallen below the limit;
- The driver may have felt threatened by your passing and considered it an aggressive move on your part;
- The driver may have seen your face while passing and felt a sense of attraction that translated into stepping on the gas pedal.
One action can cause many different outcomes without your saying a word. Keep in mind that you’ll probably have a reaction to the other driver having a reaction.
Suddenly, you may feel threatened by the other driver, become annoyed, or simply not notice anything out of the ordinary because you’re lost in thought.
If left unchecked, thinking about this dance of nonverbal communication will cause your brain to smoke.
Obviously, we don’t want that. You can prevent it with mindfulness and clarity.
When you walk through your office, what are you saying with your body? Do you appear to have confidence and purpose or are you one minute away from an emotional meltdown? We do a lot of talking without saying a word. Don’t assume that people aren’t “reading” you.
And do you think that someone might be less likely to ask you an important question because you appear upset, even when you’re not?
When we do talk, it can be easy to leave out important things that clarify your message.
“Do it now!” may be how you feel about asking for a report. If your goal is to inspire fear, then keep doing it.
But there’s a chance that you don’t want that and should instead say, “This report is important. Please make it your top priority.”
Most mistakes are born out of little misunderstandings. Limit them through better communication.
